Crazy Unplanned Life
by justwanttologin
Summary: This is set after Derek picks Addison and Meredith starts sleeping around. She gets pregnant and has no idea who the father is and finds support in an unexpected person.
1. Chapter 1

Meredith's POV

I'm wandering through the halls of the hospital trying to find someone to let me do something. It's a slow day which usually means something big is going to happen. I can't handle big today but I can't handle doing nothing either.

"Damn Meredith watch it!" I look up to see Alex yelling at me.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks after he actually looks at me.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I snap and try to keep walking but he grabs my arm.

"I know you well enough to know you're lying Meredith." I hate that he does but it's true.

"I'm pregnant. Happy now?" Well crap, I wasn't going to tell anyone. Not yet at least.

"Seriously?" He asks and I yell yes seriously!

"Um OK them. Are you happy?" Seriously?

"No I am not happy Alex. Who would be happy because she's a slut?"

"Mer you're not a slut… you just handle things differently than normal people." He trying to be, what is this? Comforting?

"You're worse than I am!" I yell at him.

"I said normal people Mer but whatever. I'm sorry but if you need anything just let me know OK?"

"Um, thanks I guess." I start thinking about everything I need to do in the next probably 8 months. I guess first I need to see a doctor. And who is the head of baby doctors? None other than my asshole ex-boyfriends evil wife. I guess I could go somewhere else but I since I practically live it that doesn't really make sense. Aggh. But the alternative is having her knowing I'm pregnant and most likely going to assume the baby is Derek's. Maybe the baby is Derek's. Maybe the baby is George's. Maybe the baby is one of many men I picked up at the bar and never bothered to learn a name.

I am such a slut!

I need to figure out how far along I am. That will eliminate a few options. I seriously hope it's not Derek's. I can see him and Addison trying to take my baby and raise it as hers. And I seriously hope it's not George. He's barely speaking to me; I don't really want to be like surprise! We are now tied together for the rest of our freaking lives.

I know what I have to do. I'm just not going to tell anyone about this. Well except for Alex since I blurted it out already. And I'm going to pretend the baby just doesn't have a father. Unless Derek or George asks me specifically if the baby is theirs I will pretend there is no chance of that.

It will be just my baby and me.

I find Baily and tell her I'm sick and ask her if I can talk to someone about it and then go home for the day and she looks at me suspiciously but says fine. Interns never ask to go home, you might miss something. Today I don't care.

I go to the OB wing and request a checkup. At least Addison doesn't have to be my actual doctor unless something goes wrong which wouldn't surprise me with my luck.

Once the doctor takes me to a room and introduces herself as Dr. Holly Westmoreland I tell her I'm pregnant and I just want to make sure everything is OK and I would like to know how far along I am.

She asks a bunch of questions then does an ultrasound and I can actually see the baby. It's pretty amazing.

"OK Dr. Grey. You are about 4 months along. You'll need to see me every 2 weeks. Any questions?"

"No, no questions. Except this is just between us right? No telling Dr. Sheppard of the Chief or Baily right?" I ask her nervously.

"Right. I can't tell anyone but Meredith you are going to start showing soon and it's generally a better idea to tell the important people before then. But alright let me get you some prenatal pills and off you go. Don't over work yourself. See you in two weeks." She smiles and I hate how happy she is.

I walk out of the exam room right into Addison.

"Oh Meredith are you OK?" She asks. She's actually very nice to me but I still hate her. I was happy before she came here and then she stayed here.

"Yep I'm fine." I tell her hoping she drops it.

"Are you pregnant?" Seriously?

"Yes. I am pregnant. I would appreciate you not telling anyone, I'm going home now." I tell her and start to walk away.

"Meredith wait, is Derek the father?" She asks and I sigh and turn around.

"I honestly don't know Addison. I hope not but I really just don't know. After the baby is born if he wants to than he can do a paternity test. But until then he will not be a part of this. No doctor's visits, no talking about it."

"Meredith you're having his baby he will leave me for you." She says and I laugh.

"He might leave you and it might even be for me but it would be pointless. He picked you and I don't want him anymore. I'm over that. So over that." I tell him and she looks relieved.

"I need you to lie to him if he asks." She demands and I tell her no, I'm not a liar and I'm also not going to keep a child away from their father if they want to be involved. If he doesn't ask I'm not going to offer anything but I won't lie.

"You'll be sorry Meredith." I think she's threatening me but I find it funny so I laugh and she huffs and storms off.

At least I know George isn't the father.

Once I get home I grab some ice cream and some Oreos and some bottled waters and then I lock myself in my room thinking someone should be home soon and I don't want to deal with anyone. I know I have to go back to the real world tomorrow but for today I'm going to eat crap and watch bad TV and cry and sleep.

_A/N OK I went a little bit crazy writing since over Christmas break without internet so I have the start of 4 different stories. I am going to post the first chapter of each and then write and update according to interest. _


	2. Chapter 2

4 hours later I sugar crash into a nap only to be woken up by frantic knocking on my bedroom door and then Alex bursting in when I decide to ignore it.

"What do you want? I ignored the knocking for a reason." I snap at him.

"Sorry Mer but I needed to tell you before you found out on your own. Everyone knows you're pregnant and I swear I didn't tell anyone."

"Addison. That stupid bitch." I yell. I do a lot of yelling these days.

"You told Addison?" he asks surprised and I tell him how I ran into her coming out of the exam room.

He tells me how the rumors of me having Sheppard's baby spread in the course of just a few hours. I don't get her game. She wanted me to lie about him being the father if he was and now she goes straight to him.

"I think she is hoping he will fight you for the baby and get full custody and this gives them more time to prepare." He tells me and I think yeah that sounds about right stupid bitch.

"That's stupid though. There is a huge chance the baby isn't even his!"

I hear the doorbell ring and Alex goes to get it. This really freaking sucks. A few minutes later Alex comes back and says he's sorry but they won't leave.

"Who?" I ask him already knowing.

"Sheppard, both of them." He tells me and I sigh then get up and go down with him.

"What do you want Dr. Sheppard?" I ask Derek and watch him as he studies me.

"When were you planning on telling me you were pregnant Meredith?" He asks very rudely.

"Well considering I just found out I was pregnant this morning and I have no idea if the baby is even yours I wasn't planning on telling you for a while." I tell him honestly.

"You told me the baby is definitely mine and that she is 4 months already." He tells the bitch and I laugh.

"I am 4 months already because there were no signs until this last month and then I was in denial as I'm sure you can understand. I mean this isn't the miracle it's supposed to be. More like drunken Mer induced hell. There is no way I would know if you were the father because I missed the deadline for testing. So you will have to wait until the baby is born. So what game are you playing? Are you going to try to take it if it's it yours?" I ask Derek and he looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Why would you think that Meredith? I know we have some bad history but I would never take the baby from you, I would like to be involved of course but I would never just take it." He looks hurt and I almost feel bad.

"Of course we would try to take it from her Derek! I will not have Meredith be a part of my daily life like a child would require should she be allowed to raise it herself. And your baby deserves better than a surgical intern with her messed up childhood and even worse recent screw ups. She doesn't even know who the father is!" Addison is screaming and Alex tells her she needs to leave before he makes her leave and Derek tells her to take the car home, he will call a cab. Alex tries to tell him to leave to but I tell him it's fine, Derek I can handle.

Once she's gone Derek tells me he's sorry for the misunderstanding and overreacting.

"I do not want your wife anywhere near my baby, I don't care if you are the father or not." I tell him.

"I'm going to divorce her Meredith. I'm been considering it anyways but this just proves she's not the person she used to be. I miss you Meredith. Will you give me a second chance?" He asks seriously and it takes a lot of will to not burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry Derek I can't. You broke me and I'm still not whole. You picked her and even if now you see how stupid that was I can't do that again. All my feelings for you are gone. Nothing's left but an occasional what might have been. If this baby is yours we will deal with it but otherwise you are out of my life." I tell him and he looks disappointed but oh freaking well. "One more thing, can the head of a department look at any file? Even if they have nothing to do with the case?" I ask him.

"Well no unless it's a consultation but nobody ever says anything about it I guess. Why?" He asks confused.

"Because I plan on trying to get your wife fired."

"She said you told her?" He asks and I tell him that yes I did tell her I was pregnant but I never told her how far along. "Well then good luck Meredith, if there is anything I can do to help let me know."

That might be helpful actually. After he leaves Alex asks if I want dinner and I tell him no thanks I think I'm just going to go back to bed.

I'm halfway up the stairs when Izzie and Christina come bursting in. Yay.

"Not in the mood." I tell them and keep walking up the stair.

"You should of thought about that before you got knocked up and told Addison before you told me." Christina says.

"I didn't tell you Christina because I didn't need you to tell me to have an abortion and I didn't tell you Izzie because I didn't need to hear about how great adoption is. I didn't tell anyone except Alex on accident, the doctor I went to and Addison because she saw me walk out of the exam room. Who I tell and when is none of either of your business so as I said I am not in the mood and I am going to my room." Alex laughs and I glare at him and he stops.

I hear Izzie whisper to Christina they should've noticed the moodiness.

_A/N Since this is first season some things might not be right. Like I don't really remember when Alex moved in with Meredith or when Christina got pregnant. I do know that in the actual show they don't know about Izzie giving up her baby yet but oh well. _


	3. Chapter 3

Meredith's POV

I'm starving so I'm standing in my kitchen in the middle of the night staring into the refrigerator but it's empty because no one here actually cooks except Izzie and she's spending all her time somewhere else. I think she wants me to beg her for info but I really just don't care. I have more important things to worry about than who she's screwing. Christina's mad at me because she thinks I'm throwing my career away. I don't really care what she thinks because once again I have a lot to figure out.

The only people I really talk to are Alex and George and Derek. Derek has been very supportive in my case against Addison and he's only begged me to take him back once.

"Mer what are what are you doing?" Alex asks me and I realize I'm still standing in front of the open empty fridge.

"I'm hungry." I whine. "I don't miss Izzie but I do miss her food."

"Do you want me to make you something?" he asks.

"You can cook?" I ask him.

"Yes, a lot actually which you would know if you didn't live in your own little Merworld." He laughs at me.

"I don't even think we have anything to cook." I tell him and he starts going through the odds and ends in the fridge and pantry.

"I can make you apple pancakes or a veggie omelet." He finally tells me and I ask for the pancakes. He makes them for me then sits with me while I eat.

"Um thanks and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cook for me in the middle of the night." I tell him and he says it's fine, he wasn't sleeping anyways.

"Why?" I ask him then realize it's probably none of my business.

"Don't know, just wasn't. You should go back to bed, you're pregnant you need sleep." He tells me and I roll my eyes.

"Yes Daddy." he looks at me like I'm nuts and says go to bed Mer.

I do go to bed but I don't sleep, I hardly ever sleep anymore. Instead I lay awake and worry about my baby, who the father is and how I am going to take care of it, if I'm going to be able to stay in the program, if I'm going to be stuck raising a kid with Derek, if I'm ever going to find a man that loves not only me but my kid now too.

After a few fours of worrying I give up and go downstairs to read.

"That wasn't enough sleep Meredith." Alex tells me looking up from the TV.

"No less than you." I point out and he says yeah but he's not pregnant.

"Lucky." I mumble.

"How are you doing with all this Mer? The real version not the I'm fine leave me the hell alone version." He asks and it catches me off guard because that is what I do, I push people away so no one knows the real me. With good reason, Derek knew the real me and then he left me for his wife. And that hurt.

"I'm really fine Alex. I mean yeah it sucks that there is the thing growing in me and sucking the life out of me and that I have no idea who the father is, and that there is a good chance Derek is the father which would tie me to a man that should be just a bad past mistake for the rest of my life. I'm starving all the time, I'm stressed out over this whole trying to get Addison fired thing. I don't sleep, I cry in my bed at night." And I did not mean to blurt all that out, to Alex of all people. Not that I have anyone that I can blurt my problems out to these days.

"Feel better?" He asks with this know it all attitude and I want to yell at him but I do feel better.

"I do actually." I admit.

"I'm here Mer; you're the only one who likes me at all anymore since I pissed Izzie off. So if you ever want to talk just talk. And if you ever want to eat let me know. You're pregnant, pop tarts and cereal isn't really the best thing to live off of."

He turns back to the TV and we sit there in silence watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. This show is lame but it's better than sitting in my bed worrying.

"Mer wake up." I wake up to Alex shaking me. I fell asleep on the couch. I sit up and I feel like I actually slept, I feel amazing. "30 minutes if you don't want to be late, go shower. I'll make you breakfast to take."

Who is this person in my house? Stranger or just acting strange I don't care, I'm starving and I'm so tired of pop tarts.

I take a quick shower and when I get downstairs Alex hands me a strawberry and banana smoothie and a bag.

"I made you lunch, cafeteria food is crap. It's just chicken salad." He tells me like this is all normal.

Not normal but once again, I am constantly starving.

"Thanks Alex." I tell him and we both get in our own cars and head to the hospital.

Another fun day of whiny patients and people who don't know how to whisper.


	4. Chapter 4

Meredith's POV

"Meredith!" Derek yells at me from down the hall so I stop and wait while he runs to me. "You won! She got fired."

"That's great Derek." I tell him and I feel like maybe I should feel bad for getting her fired but I don't.

"Do you want to go out tonight to celebrate?" he asks and I tell him sure. Then he tells me he's headed to surgery and asks if I want to assist. Of course I do.

The surgery goes well and then I have to go to my doctor's appointment, today is the day I'm hoping I can find out the sex. I hope it's a boy, I've always thought boys where more forgiving to their screw up mothers. Not that I plan to screw up, just some days it seems inevitable.

Especially if Derek isn't the father and I have to raise it alone, I'm starting to think him being the father wouldn't be as bad as I thought except he would probably push harder to get back together. That's not happening no matter what.

I'm kind of considering sleeping with him though just because these pregnancy hormones are making me want sex like a crazy person.

"Hey Mer, when is your appointment?" Alex asks walking up to me and I tell him I'm going right now.

"Cool, can I come?" He asks.

"Sure, did you hear she got fired today?" He tells me yep, he's happy too, she's a bitch. Yeah she is.

I sign in once we get to Dr. Westmoreland's office and we wait.

"You really want to come back there with me?" I ask him, I don't mind really. It's just kind of a personal thing for Alex to want to be involved in.

"I just want to make sure I'm feeding the kid good enough." He jokes.

Once I'm called back, he grabs my hands and walks back with me. The doctor asks if he's the father and we say no at the same time, she looks at us funny and moves on.

During the ultrasound she talks me through everything telling me how big the baby is and that the due date seems to be pretty accurate and finding asking me if I want to know the sex. I shake my head yes and she says it's a boy! Oh thank goodness, my screw up margin is definitely increased now.

It suddenly seems a lot more real. I start to cry and Alex asks me if I'm OK, I tell him yes and he drops it. I think that's why I don't mind him hanging around me so much. He lets me be emotional without pushing for a reason. When I'm with Derek he wants me to talk about everything.

Also Alex feeds me. We've fallen into a routine at home of pretending to go to bed and ending up in the living room watching TV until I usually crash on the couch, not sure what he does because he always wakes me up in the morning.

He's probably my closet friend though I still hang out with Christina too; she's giving up trying to save my career.

That night at dinner I tell Derek the baby is a boy and he gets a weird look on his face.

"What was that look?" I ask him suspiciously.

"It's just hard not knowing if the baby is mine or not. You could be pregnant with my son and Alex is getting to be there for everything. It's just going to suck if it is mine and Alex is the one that got to see the ultrasound and gets to be there for you. Is he going to be in the room with you for delivery too?" He asks with just a hint of bitter in his voice.

"Derek I've explained this to you. You have feelings for me and Alex does not, also there is no way Alex is going to get his hopes up and be crushed when the baby isn't his. And as for the delivery room I haven't actually thought about it." I tell him honestly.

I wonder if Alex would agree to be in there with me. I don't really want to be alone and I don't have family and Christina seems like she would be completely awful in a situation like that. A situation like my life. Ha. I must have laughed out loud because Derek looks at me funny and I ignore it.

"I could be there for you and the baby whether it's mine or not Meredith. I care about you." He tells me.

"I know you do, I know you still love me and I know you're not the type to let that go easily. If the baby is not yours than I don't want you overly involved in his life." I tell him for the hundredth time.

"But Alex can be involved as he wants?" He asks and I tell him I actually haven't thought about that either.

I'm starting to get mad and then I start cramping. Derek asks what's wrong and I tell him cramping, I shouldn't be cramping at this point.

"It's probably just from your exam earlier." Derek is suddenly much nicer.

"No all she did earlier was an ultrasound." I'm scared, I don't like this. I'm failing before he's even born.

"Meredith just breathe, I'm sure everything is fine but if you want to go to the hospital just to be sure I can take you." I don't want to be one of those paranoid people but I decide to get checked out just in case.

An hour later I tell me I'm in labor and they give me medicine to stop it and put me on bed rest for the next couple of months. This is so bad. I'm going to get kicked out of the program. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing though. Maybe I'll just be a general practitioner, the internship is still hard but the hours are more suitable for raising a child. I don't want my kid to grow up in the hospital like I did.

"Can I go home? Or does my bed rest have to be in the hospital?" I ask a nurse and she says she'll find out. She says I can go home after 24 hours of no contraction. I tell Derek to go home but he says he wants to stay with me until I remind him of the surgeries he has tomorrow.

"Do you want to call someone to be with you? Christiana or… Alex?" he manages.

"Could you just let Alex know I won't be home tonight? Thanks for everything Derek." He lingers in the doorway before leaving and hopefully calling Alex, I don't know what happened to my phone is all the excitement of being a failure.

When the nurse comes back I ask her for something to help me sleep and soon I'm knocked out.

_A/N if you read my stuff you know I tend to make stuff up sometimes, like the internship for general practitioner. Also cramping is pretty unlikely to lead to bed rest. I live in a soap opera land. _


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith's POV

Bed rest sucks. It's been a month and I have an appointment today to see if I have to continue on it. Alex is taking me because apparently driving isn't considered bed rest.

Once we get there I tell him I need to stop by and see the chief, he called me a few days ago and asked me to come in next time I had an appointment. Alex walks with me and I'm so tired of being followed.

I go in and Dr. Webber looks nervous which makes me nervous.

"How are you feeling Meredith?" He asks.

"I'm fine; can we get to the point? I'm not supposed to be stressed." I snap.

"Meredith I'm so sorry for this but because of your bed rest you've missed too many days of your internship to continue. You will have to start over at the beginning of the next year." He tells me and I can tell he doesn't want to do this.

"Yeah I figured as much. I've been considering just dropping out completely and switching to general. It's OK Chief; I know this isn't your decision. General will be better for the baby anyways. I don't want to be my mother." I get up to walk out.

"You're insurance will be good for three months after the pregnancy. Meredith if you ever need anything let me know." He tells me as I walk out.

As soon as I get out the door Alex asks what happened and I tell him. He gets pissed off saying they can't fire me because I'm pregnant. But they aren't firing me, I would just have to restart and it sucks but really I can see the reasoning. Internship is a certain amount of time; you can't just skip a big portion of it.

"It's fine Alex, it's for the best really. I'm having a baby; this isn't the right place for me anymore. And really I'm not sure it ever was. I wanted to be a doctor because my mom told me I couldn't be. I don't know what I would have wanted to be otherwise. Maybe a stripper. Or a vet. Or an astronaut." I joke.

"Yeah because everyone loves a pregnant stripper." He says sarcastically and I laugh.

Christina walks around the corner and she asks Alex to leave us for a few minutes and he does after I tell him I'll be fine, she's not to push me down a flight of stairs or make me run laps or anything.

"I should make you run laps. I cannot believe you are giving up your career and falling in love with Alex." She tells me.

"Huh?" I ask her confused.

"Oh come on Mer, he's bringing you to all your appointments and you're happy around him. Happy like you were with Derek. And this is all after you gave up your career."

"He's the only one that comes around and that's only because he lives in my house. You don't come, I haven't seen Izzie in months, actually have you seen her? I think she might be dead." Off topic but very important I think.

Christina snorts and says Izzie is fine, she's moved in with some guy and ignores all of them which is fine with her.

Relieved we continue towards my appointment and I think she forgot about her Alex thing.

"Mer he likes you too so go for it. This kid is going to need a dad and I guess Alex is better than nothing. And definitely better than Derek. But whatever, what are you going to now that you're out of the program?"

"Strip."

"Awesome let me know where, I will so be there. I still love you Mer, I just don't know how to do this. We're supposed to be the same, going to the same place and this detour you took totally threw me off." She walks off when we get to the office, I walk in and Alex is waiting for me.

"I survived her." I joke and he just rolls his eyes and says sorry for worrying.

Once I get called back we go and I'm really hoping I'm off bed rest even if I don't have anything to do.

"OK Meredith everything looks good so I'm taking you off complete bed rest but you still need to take it easy and at the slightest cramping or pain you come in." She talking to me but she's looking at Alex which is weird and then I start thinking about what Christina said and Christina knows me. And I guess this doctor does too, I see her enough lately.

"Yeah she'll take it easy." Alex tells her.

"OK I can drive now so take me home and I'm going shopping." I tell him as soon as we get in the car.

"You have to take it easy Mer, you can shopping tomorrow. Or I'll go for you, what do you need?" He suggests.

"Alex I'm getting fat, I need clothes and I really don't think you can go clothes shopping for me. Oh by the way, are you in love with me?" I blurt out.

"You're not getting fat, you're pregnant."

"Alex…"

"Yes Mer, I am in love with you. I'll go with you but I'm not letting you go alone."

"Alex…"

"What do you want me to say Mer?" He asks and I don't really know, I just want him to say something.

"For how long?" I ask him just as we pull into the driveway.

"I don't know, I just woke up one day and you were crashed on the couch and you were wearing my sweatshirt and I thought damn I love her. This doesn't have to change anything Mer."

"This changes everything, now you're just like Derek except you know this baby's not yours. But in a way you have even more to lose because I let you get too close. I'm sorry Alex but I can't do this." I get out of the car and lock myself in my room.

If Christina was right about Alex loving me is she right about me loving him?


End file.
